OK, full disclosure. My students think I am a nerd. I like math, I am good at math, and I constantly make weird references to things they aren't quite sure of. That being said, they also eventually discover that I am sort of cool (in their minds, anyway) because I ride a Harley, have pierced ears, and know things that adults generally either don't know or don't admit to knowing.
So, the background of our story being set, I am single and not wishing to be single. What's a nerd to do? Turns out you can use math. Yes, it's true, you can use math to increase your probability of finding the perfect mate.
How to Use Math to Choose a Wife .
There is hope.
Monday, June 27, 2011
A Careful Karma Balancing Act
So the other day a really attractive doormat just appears on my front stoop.
I'm walking out to go to work and there it is. I'm racking my brain trying to figure out where this could have come from and why someone would randomly put a doormat by my door. Even more wondrously, it had an A on it, which, for those of you who know me, has significance.
(Now, you might think that the chances of a randomly selected doormat having the first letter of your last name should be 1:26 but if you thought that you would have to make certain assumptions. If you were trying to guess the first letter of a random person's last name, some letters are less likely to show up.)
Anyway, back to my uninteresting, except to me, story, I called my sister Alice to see if she knew anything about it. Deny, deny, deny. Even more strange. Until I mentioned that it was really nice, at which point she claimed responsibility. I assumed she was only claiming responsibility because I liked it, so our conversation pretty much went at cross purposes from there until I stopped, backed up about three minutes, and clarified her responses.
End result, I like the doormat, it looks good on my front step, and I got to use the word "stoop" in a blog.
I'm walking out to go to work and there it is. I'm racking my brain trying to figure out where this could have come from and why someone would randomly put a doormat by my door. Even more wondrously, it had an A on it, which, for those of you who know me, has significance.
(Now, you might think that the chances of a randomly selected doormat having the first letter of your last name should be 1:26 but if you thought that you would have to make certain assumptions. If you were trying to guess the first letter of a random person's last name, some letters are less likely to show up.)
Anyway, back to my uninteresting, except to me, story, I called my sister Alice to see if she knew anything about it. Deny, deny, deny. Even more strange. Until I mentioned that it was really nice, at which point she claimed responsibility. I assumed she was only claiming responsibility because I liked it, so our conversation pretty much went at cross purposes from there until I stopped, backed up about three minutes, and clarified her responses.
End result, I like the doormat, it looks good on my front step, and I got to use the word "stoop" in a blog.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Slightly Behind the Valley of Meat
Well, the saga of the rollerblades, sans interesting pictures, continued in a positive direction.
1) Used to rollerblade. Had a decent set, made of plastic. Not the best quality but they did the job.
2) Busy Lizzie working out to try out for roller derby, thought I'd lend moral support by digging out my roller blades and going skating with her.
3) Twenty or more year old plastic is a brittle and fractious thing.
4) Had so much fun that I bought a new set of Bauer Vapor RX-05 blades. Love 'em. Second time out on those today and I am remembering how to cross over when cornering. Barely windmilled my arms around like an idiot at all today.
5) I skate like a hockey player. Every time I push off I kick with my toe. It serves no purpose at all on blades but if I break the habit it will affect my ice skating. Can't think of a reason to care since I never ice skate anymore, but I may want to start again since this is fun.
1) Used to rollerblade. Had a decent set, made of plastic. Not the best quality but they did the job.
2) Busy Lizzie working out to try out for roller derby, thought I'd lend moral support by digging out my roller blades and going skating with her.
3) Twenty or more year old plastic is a brittle and fractious thing.
4) Had so much fun that I bought a new set of Bauer Vapor RX-05 blades. Love 'em. Second time out on those today and I am remembering how to cross over when cornering. Barely windmilled my arms around like an idiot at all today.
5) I skate like a hockey player. Every time I push off I kick with my toe. It serves no purpose at all on blades but if I break the habit it will affect my ice skating. Can't think of a reason to care since I never ice skate anymore, but I may want to start again since this is fun.
Friday, June 24, 2011
It's Official
Friday evening, sunny, 63 degrees. I am sitting on my couch watching TV with my book, my laptop, and my Russian language course. I am pathetic.
(PS There isn't even a Russian girl.)
(PS There isn't even a Russian girl.)
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Godwin's Law
As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1.
Demonstrably true through scientific means.
Demonstrably true through scientific means.
Professional Photographer Needed
If you want to know why, you should look at my recipe blog.
Qualifications:
You must be proficient at making food look appetizing in a photograph. The food itself is very appetizing so it doesn't seem like this should be difficult, but apparently it is.
You should be an attractive single female who is interested in a long term relationship with a Harley riding, high school math teaching, fun loving man.
Rational:
1) The food appears at unpredictable intervals and can't be kept long term waiting for a photographer, you should be "in residence" at the home of the food.
2) It would clearly be inappropriate for a single female to be living here unless we were in a committed, long term relationship.
3) I am so desperate for a CLTR that I am willing to stoop to advertising for a photographer when what I obviously need is a girlfriend.
Hmmm. Might be past my bedtime.
Qualifications:
You must be proficient at making food look appetizing in a photograph. The food itself is very appetizing so it doesn't seem like this should be difficult, but apparently it is.
You should be an attractive single female who is interested in a long term relationship with a Harley riding, high school math teaching, fun loving man.
Rational:
1) The food appears at unpredictable intervals and can't be kept long term waiting for a photographer, you should be "in residence" at the home of the food.
2) It would clearly be inappropriate for a single female to be living here unless we were in a committed, long term relationship.
3) I am so desperate for a CLTR that I am willing to stoop to advertising for a photographer when what I obviously need is a girlfriend.
Hmmm. Might be past my bedtime.
June 21st, A New World Order
Was puttering around this morning and realized that I was missing going to school and seeing my kids. I guess it's official. I've been assimilated.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
So Bummed I Have No Words with Which to Express My Feelings
No, really. I don't.
PS Having watched the news one word does come to mind. Jackasses.
PS Having watched the news one word does come to mind. Jackasses.
Monday, June 13, 2011
When Zombies Attack
Ever wonder what the statistical odds of the world surviving a zombie outbreak are? Of course you didn't. You were too busy stockpiling weapons, ammunition, and emergency rations just in case.
Well, if you have at least two each of battle rifle, shotgun, 1911 style pistol in 45ACP, and machete, at least 2,000 rounds for each type of firearm; as well as four weeks supply of high energy, freeze dried food supplies, you may wish to take some time to read this.
When Zombies Attack: Mathematical Modelling of an Outbreak of Zombie Infection. This is why I love mathematics. You can take something completely useless and turn it into a highly entertaining study which has the advantage of being completely scientific. No one can read this study and argue that zombies don't really exist. It doesn't matter. Zombies are a part of the assumptions that underlie the whole paper. Thbbbbbbt to you nay sayers!
Well, if you have at least two each of battle rifle, shotgun, 1911 style pistol in 45ACP, and machete, at least 2,000 rounds for each type of firearm; as well as four weeks supply of high energy, freeze dried food supplies, you may wish to take some time to read this.
When Zombies Attack: Mathematical Modelling of an Outbreak of Zombie Infection. This is why I love mathematics. You can take something completely useless and turn it into a highly entertaining study which has the advantage of being completely scientific. No one can read this study and argue that zombies don't really exist. It doesn't matter. Zombies are a part of the assumptions that underlie the whole paper. Thbbbbbbt to you nay sayers!
Speculation on a time of madness
Now don't get upset, I'm not predicting this will or even might happen, but what if...
What if the Canucks, having been blown out three games in a row in Boston, actually drop game seven and lose the cup at home? I grant you, it's a big what if.
Hard to say what the real issue would be. One could argue that Zdeno Chara cross checking Henrik Sedin to the ice, waiting until he got up, and then hitting him in the chest was one root problem. Why is that a problem? Well, normally it wouldn't be, except that the net result of that particular play was four-on-four hockey as the refs correctly called Chara for interference, but then evened it out by calling Henrik for the dive. Hard to play skill hockey when you are lying on your back or in the sin bin for a BS call like that.
One might also argue that Roberto Luongo is the root cause of the problem. I was a staunch defender after games three and four. The team played like crap in front of him. So he gave up a couple soft goals. When you lose eight to one, a couple soft goals don't really matter in the overall scheme of things.
That brings us to tonight. I am currently not watching hockey. It is game six of the Stanley Cup Finals. I have been waiting thirty five years for the Canucks to even look like they have the remotest possibility of actually being good enough to win the cup. Bobby Lou gives up not one, not two, but three soft goals in the space of about two minutes. I shut off the game. I can't stand the stress. I love sports, I love hockey, and I love the Canucks, but I couldn't stand it. I will check the score in a while to see if I should turn it back on again.
So, why the blog post to admit to the world that I am not watching my Canucks in the Cup finals? My question is, should the unthinkable happen, should the Canucks somehow lose in seven, and should Luongo not play unbelievably well in game seven (ie win the game for them) what do you do as an organization? Luongo has a giant contract. If he loses game seven for them by giving up soft goals, he will also have proven that he is not a world class goaltender. Do you sit a guy making millions and start Schneider next year, an up and coming goaltender who has already demonstrated that he has the talent to be a number one goalie anywhere other than on a team with Roberto Luongo? Do you go to the well one more time and hope that, like he finally conquered the Blackhawks after three years, that he will finally conquer the Cup finals in another couple years?
Hey, I'm just asking? I hope they win the cup in seven (or six although I'll be sitting here pointedly ignoring the TV downstairs) and he proves once and for all that he is one of the best goal tenders in the league. In the meantime, he has given up sixteen goals in three games in Boston and sure doesn't look like world class from the cheap seats.
What if the Canucks, having been blown out three games in a row in Boston, actually drop game seven and lose the cup at home? I grant you, it's a big what if.
Hard to say what the real issue would be. One could argue that Zdeno Chara cross checking Henrik Sedin to the ice, waiting until he got up, and then hitting him in the chest was one root problem. Why is that a problem? Well, normally it wouldn't be, except that the net result of that particular play was four-on-four hockey as the refs correctly called Chara for interference, but then evened it out by calling Henrik for the dive. Hard to play skill hockey when you are lying on your back or in the sin bin for a BS call like that.
One might also argue that Roberto Luongo is the root cause of the problem. I was a staunch defender after games three and four. The team played like crap in front of him. So he gave up a couple soft goals. When you lose eight to one, a couple soft goals don't really matter in the overall scheme of things.
That brings us to tonight. I am currently not watching hockey. It is game six of the Stanley Cup Finals. I have been waiting thirty five years for the Canucks to even look like they have the remotest possibility of actually being good enough to win the cup. Bobby Lou gives up not one, not two, but three soft goals in the space of about two minutes. I shut off the game. I can't stand the stress. I love sports, I love hockey, and I love the Canucks, but I couldn't stand it. I will check the score in a while to see if I should turn it back on again.
So, why the blog post to admit to the world that I am not watching my Canucks in the Cup finals? My question is, should the unthinkable happen, should the Canucks somehow lose in seven, and should Luongo not play unbelievably well in game seven (ie win the game for them) what do you do as an organization? Luongo has a giant contract. If he loses game seven for them by giving up soft goals, he will also have proven that he is not a world class goaltender. Do you sit a guy making millions and start Schneider next year, an up and coming goaltender who has already demonstrated that he has the talent to be a number one goalie anywhere other than on a team with Roberto Luongo? Do you go to the well one more time and hope that, like he finally conquered the Blackhawks after three years, that he will finally conquer the Cup finals in another couple years?
Hey, I'm just asking? I hope they win the cup in seven (or six although I'll be sitting here pointedly ignoring the TV downstairs) and he proves once and for all that he is one of the best goal tenders in the league. In the meantime, he has given up sixteen goals in three games in Boston and sure doesn't look like world class from the cheap seats.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Physical play in hockey
I understand it's a physical game. I played a bit in college and have been a fan for many, many years. But when does the physicality cross the line? Maybe I'm just feeling sour grapes but is it really OK for Tim Thomas to take a two handed swipe at the back of Burroughs' legs and then punch him in the face with his blocker? Is it OK for Henrik to take a stick across the back of a knee he injured during the San Jose series? Ben Eager takes a run at one of the Sedins and knocks him headfirst into the boards, no suspension. Biexa gets driven headfirst into the boards during the San Jose series, no suspension. Aaron Rome makes a stupid, dangerous hit on Nathan Horton and gets four games (five if you include the ejection), more than anyone has ever received for similar plays.
I understand that the NHL needs to crack down on hits to the head. I applaud that effort. But I don't know that during the Stanley Cup finals is the time to start making a stand, and I would love to see some consistency.
The Bruins have managed to take the Canucks completely out of their game through their physical play and I applaud them for that. They've done a good job of dictating the play. But at what point does the physical play cross the line, and at what point should the refs step in after the whistle has blown and make it clear that the behavior is unacceptable. The after the whistle cheap shots are wrong by both teams, the refs need to stop it somehow, and yes, I do believe that although the Canucks are not blameless, the Bruins are guilty of far more in this regard.
I understand that the NHL needs to crack down on hits to the head. I applaud that effort. But I don't know that during the Stanley Cup finals is the time to start making a stand, and I would love to see some consistency.
The Bruins have managed to take the Canucks completely out of their game through their physical play and I applaud them for that. They've done a good job of dictating the play. But at what point does the physical play cross the line, and at what point should the refs step in after the whistle has blown and make it clear that the behavior is unacceptable. The after the whistle cheap shots are wrong by both teams, the refs need to stop it somehow, and yes, I do believe that although the Canucks are not blameless, the Bruins are guilty of far more in this regard.
Thoughts on fan emotion/loyalty.
Well, over the past 96 hours the mood in Vancouver has gone from "We are finally going to win a Stanley Cup" to "We will probably never win a Stanley Cup". So what changed. Four days ago we had a 2-0 lead on Boston in the finals. The way both teams were playing it seemed like Boston would be lucky to win one at home, forcing a game five in Vancouver on Friday. The the wheels fell off the Canuck train and they lost two games by a total score of 12-1. It was an epic team collapse. Now the announcers are criticizing fans and wondering how they could be so negative when the series is tied 2-2. Theoretically the Canucks are still the better team and just have to win a three game series in which they have home advantage. Those are the facts.
Here's my take on the mood of fans. It isn't that we lost, it's how we lost. If we had gone to Boston and lost two games the way we won two in Vancouver, I'd still be feeling pretty good. We would have played a decent game, got a few bad breaks, their goaltender would have outplayed ours (slightly), and we would still be feeling good about our chances. The problem is the epic collapse. So far the Canucks have played 23 playoff games this year. We have won 14/23. Only one game have we won by more than two goals. Four of our losses have been by four goals or more and two of them were by six or more. Even understanding that we still came back to win those series, I feel like the team is living on the edge. One goal by Chicago in overtime of Game 7 and we aren't in the Stanley Cup. A couple bounces Boston's way in Games 1 & 2 and they swept us for the Cup. It almost seems like the best team in the regular season has had to be somewhat lucky to advance as far as they have in the playoffs this year. Add to that the lack of production by the best offensive players in hockey (the Sedins have a combined 11 goals and 39 points in 23 games) and the future doesn't look promising.
That being said, I still think they can win the first cup in Canucks history but I'm not as confident as I was four days ago. Of course, there's always the 1915 Vancouver Millionaires. It's not like we've never won.
Here's my take on the mood of fans. It isn't that we lost, it's how we lost. If we had gone to Boston and lost two games the way we won two in Vancouver, I'd still be feeling pretty good. We would have played a decent game, got a few bad breaks, their goaltender would have outplayed ours (slightly), and we would still be feeling good about our chances. The problem is the epic collapse. So far the Canucks have played 23 playoff games this year. We have won 14/23. Only one game have we won by more than two goals. Four of our losses have been by four goals or more and two of them were by six or more. Even understanding that we still came back to win those series, I feel like the team is living on the edge. One goal by Chicago in overtime of Game 7 and we aren't in the Stanley Cup. A couple bounces Boston's way in Games 1 & 2 and they swept us for the Cup. It almost seems like the best team in the regular season has had to be somewhat lucky to advance as far as they have in the playoffs this year. Add to that the lack of production by the best offensive players in hockey (the Sedins have a combined 11 goals and 39 points in 23 games) and the future doesn't look promising.
That being said, I still think they can win the first cup in Canucks history but I'm not as confident as I was four days ago. Of course, there's always the 1915 Vancouver Millionaires. It's not like we've never won.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Hijacked blogs
Now don't get me wrong. I love my sister. We talk all the time. But sometimes the expression "One of these days, Alice" pops to mind.
I have a food blog. It has recipes. So what does "Alice" do? She hijacks my ramblings blog and posts a recipe suggestion. My rambling blog now has recipes. It is ruined. Probably forever. I think I'll go back to just listening to the voices and not type them onto the interweb at all. Or maybe I'll just confuse the issue further and post up ramblings on the recipe blog. Choices, choices. Hmmph!
I have a food blog. It has recipes. So what does "Alice" do? She hijacks my ramblings blog and posts a recipe suggestion. My rambling blog now has recipes. It is ruined. Probably forever. I think I'll go back to just listening to the voices and not type them onto the interweb at all. Or maybe I'll just confuse the issue further and post up ramblings on the recipe blog. Choices, choices. Hmmph!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Been there so infrequently it's starting to seem less like home
Hmmm. I either need to cook more or (more likely) remember to take pictures of my brilliant culinary creations so that I can post them up on the blog.
Boredom and burnout vs credit card debt
Working constantly is tiresome. Until, of course, I drive to the bank canted to the right due to my stuffed wallet. Maybe one day I will have less debt and I will say to myself "Self. Take the damn day off. No, better yet, take the damn month off."
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