Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Captain Justice, Defender of the Innocent, Guardian of the Realm, and Leader of the Resistance

This is absolutely hysterical.  The prosecution filed a motion asking that the defense not be allowed to refer to them as "the Government" during the trial.  He claimed that it had the effect of prejudicing the jury against them.  

The response of the defense lawyer included this snippet:

First, the Defendant no longer wants to be called "the Defendant." This rather archaic term of art obviously has a fairly negative connotation.  ...
The designation "That innocent man" would also be acceptable. 
And concluded with:
WHEREFORE, Captain Justice, Guardian of the Realm and Leader of the Resistance, primarily asks that the Court deny the State’s motion, as lacking legal basis. Alternatively, the Citizen Accused moves for an order in limine modifying the speech code as aforementioned, and requiring any other euphemisms and feel-good terms as the Court finds appropriate. 

The whole thing is hysterically funny and well worth a read (it's pretty short)

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