So you want to be a teacher

First of all, be advised that it is nothing like the movies. No matter how inspiring you are, you are not going to take a class of high school students with fifth grade skills and turn them into AP Calculus successes in one semester (you might be interested in knowing that neither did Jaime Escalante. It actually took several years).

Let's say that you have more realistic expectations though. You like kids, you are enthused about a subject, and you think you might have a chance at reaching a few of them. Might make it worthwhile earning minimal amounts of money ($45,000 in my ninth year while beginning engineers are making $80k+) and dealing with parents who think that you must be racist if little Johnny is failing or has behavior issues.

So you get a teaching certificate ($25,000 in student loans), you get a job. First job you get is a bit far from home but they are hiring and offer you the position so you take it. A couple years later you find one closer to home (that two years is important so remember it).

Two years after that you sign your third year contract at the new school and the clock starts. That's right. You have five years to finish a Washington Professional Teacher's Certificate (Washington ProTeach for short). Costs $495 to register. Don't really have the money cause you get paid a pittance, well maybe your contract specifies that there is grant money provided by the district in which you teach to help cover these things, so you can apply for that (pretty much a slam dunk, I'm told).

So with finances probably covered, you start looking into what you will have to do over the next year. Short version, create a portfolio with three parts. OK, doesn't sound too hard, let's see what goes into that.

Step 1 of 3: Write a paper no more than 21,000 words about your Professional Development and Contributions. What in the Patron Saint's Name of Frick is that all about? Twenty four years ago I received a degree in one of the most difficult subjects in the world, Aerospace Engineering, and I never had to write a paper of greater than 10,000 words. Twenty two THOUSAND words. I wrote a research paper comparing the use of Naval and Air Force air power in Vietnam in under 10,000 words. What the hell am I going to tell them in 22,000 words?

I will be heading up to the English Department this week to get those lists of adverbs and adjectives that they provide to all their freshmen. There ain't gonna be a verb or a noun in this stupid paper that doesn't have a helper or two right in front of it.

I was too depressed to even look at what's required for parts two or three. Is this what the State of Washington really intends? Can't be a good teacher unless you can write a 22,000 word paper justifying your existence as Part 1/3? My guess is that most people with options will throw up their hands in disgust and say "The hell with it" at this point. Those you go through this process will mostly consist of marginally qualified people who don't really have a choice other than keeping their teaching certificate or those, like me, who through sheer inertia will complete the process rather than start over in a different field. Certainly isn't going to motivate me to be a better teacher.

Minnesota makes learning illegal

Yup.  If you want to learn something in Minnesota you have to get permission from the State.  Specifically, Coursera, a company that provides free online courses, has been informed by the Minnesota Office of Higher Education that they can't offer their courses in Minnesota.  If you try to take a course from them you get a notice in the terms of service that looks something like this:

Notice for Minnesota Users:
Coursera has been informed by the Minnesota Office of Higher Education that under Minnesota Statutes (136A.61 to 136A.71), a university cannot offer online courses to Minnesota residents unless the university has received authorization from the State of Minnesota to do so. If you are a resident of Minnesota, you agree that either (1) you will not take courses on Coursera, or (2) for each class that you take, the majority of work you do for the class will be done from outside the State of Minnesota.

Want more?  Reason.com broke this story here , Heritage Foundation mentioned it in their blog, and here  you are, reading about it yourself.


Update: Less than one day after this story broke, Minnesota officials said whoops.

Have to wonder, though, why someone thought it was a good idea to announce the ban, force Coursera to put a disclaimer on their website, and create a public scene before sitting down to figure out if this was a good idea.

How are we not extinct?

Turns out children's books have lead in them, according to the Consumer Safety Product Commission, yet another out of control, left wing, nanny state bureaucracy. Apparently the CPSC may rule that children's books printed before 1985 have enough lead in them that they violate safety rules and can not be sold or kept in libraries. So how much lead do they actually have? Well, dirt has more. Anyone know a kid who has eaten dirt?

Overlawyered

And in related news, a book for parents called If Your Kid Eats This Book, Everything Will Still Be OK, completely unrelated to the amount of lead in the book, but a wonderful title.