Sunday, January 14, 2018

The pocket knife

I grew up carrying a pocket knife.  So did everyone else I knew back then (for the record I am on the northern side of 50). 

I bought my first pocket knife when I was twelve, a Camillus folder, back when they were made in New York, .  It has brass end caps and a cherry-wood handle, it is a beautiful piece of work and has spent many days, months, and years either in my pocket or in a small belt sheath that I bought at a show twenty years ago. 

I bought an clip-on folder when I worked at the Harley shop.  Lighter than the Camillus and with the advantage of a clip that lets it hook over the edge of my pocket so  I don't need a belt sheath.

The other day I went to a professional hockey game.  I got to the gate, handed them my ticket and, after walking through the metal detector, was told that I could not bring a knife into the arena.  They were very nice about it and let me check it in to be collected after the game. 

Before I tell you my thoughts about rules banning pocket knives let me tell you about the less than pleasant fellow in the security office when I went to pick it up.

I was first in a line of men all about my own age, all there to collect their pocket knives.  I jokingly said to the fellow behind the desk "things sure have changed.  Everyone used to carry a pocket knife.  Looks like we're all about the same age, too".  He could have responded in kind.  He could have made a comment like "yeah, it's too bad.  What a hassle."  Instead he started lecturing me (and by extension the rest of the men in line) about leaving the knife in the car next time.

No shit!  Like we were too stupid to have already figured that out.

I went off.  As far as I remember, my exact words were "no kidding.  I think we've all figured that out.  How dare you lecture us?  Your job is to give us our knives back."  I didn't get as far as disparaging his abilities or station in life, given that a monkey or a dispensing machine could have done the same job because my friends immediately suggested that it was time to go.

When I turned around, however, there were big smiles on the faces of the others in line.  Apparently I hit a chord.

As far as the stupidity of the rule, what exactly am I (or anyone else) going to do with a perfectly legal folding pocket knife, with a blade under three inches, that I (and the rest of them) have been carrying in our pockets for the past forty years?  Do they really think that we are all suddenly going to pull out our pocket knives, unfold them, and start attacking the fans of the opposing team?  Do they really think that we are going to suddenly commit mass murderous terrorist attacks with our folding pocket knives?  It if had ever happened I could understand the concern, but the reality is that if anyone is going to attack the arena they are going to do it by either smuggling in a bomb when there aren't security checks going on; overwhelming the guards at the door with far more capable weapons (Bataclan Theater comes to mind); or just waiting till every leaves and then using a truck or a car bomb in the street outside.  A bunch of hockey fans in their forties (or any other age for that matter) carrying pocket knives aren't the problem.

The past seventeen years suggest, however, that the urge to be seen as "doing something" is far higher on the list of government priorities than actually doing something to stop terrorists when that something might be perceived as racist or might just be so under the radar that no one realizes they are doing it.  Until they fail, of course.  Then something else has to be done.  Like banning pocket knives at a hockey arena.


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